O dear lord,
I am so pathetic at realizing the worth of anything, I find it so hard to be grateful for anything. I’ve so much uncertainty in my life. I am becoming manipulative and selfish. I am nesting too much unpleasantness in myself. I am rude to others. I am self conscious and still am losing me. I feel like I am dissolving into some thing and am transforming my individuality and existence into which is not me. I am cruel to myself and to everyone. I’ve lost sense of the feelings of others. I am walking blindfolded and bumping my head on everything that’s coming in my way. When I try to be receptive with my hands so I may escape them, I feel air . I wonder how come it strikes my head with a force that I feel to have crashed my skull.Sometimes, I feel I’ve never ever loved anything.
There lies an abyss inside me and it’s malignant, it’s swelling and would engulf me if I don’t eliminate that what’s feeding it.