The Flute

I lay in bed feeling the heaviness in my heart. I know when someone does bad to me I feel bad and when I do bad to someone I feel worse. I shut my eyes and I see a vision of still water, I open my eyes wide and take deep breaths and try to sleep back, I see a cruiser running against the water, I snap my eyes open and try to relax and go back go sleep, this time I see my self blushing over something, and later again I see that I am in a hospital and some pregnant lady is asking for my help, I try not to open my eyes this time, I want to sleep, this happens for a while that I  plunge between drowsiness and wakefulness, I hear some sort of  noise of drilling and scratching, I’ve to sleep, I remind myself…

  I hear a sudden outburst of my alarm and the phone is not beside me, because I keep it far away so I do have to eventually get out of my  by the noisiest alarms in my phone. I get up and switch off the alarms and while I am still thinking about turning to my bed, I run towards it and fall asleep…

 I wake up when my sister lights up the room and announces that the Maghrib(dusk) prayer’s time is going to go over in a while. Now I do have to get up…

The weather has a bit of chill in it today and it’s awfully dry too. I am folding my prayer mat when I hear that someone’s playing flute. The voice is distant and mesmerizing  and I can feel the sweetness of it coming through the window with the sea breeze and filling my room. It feels so good and I want to catch everything about that moment in my brain. 

I feel sadness rolling onto my heart then, when things after things don’t seem to go right and every bad moment brings back all the bad moments of life. It reminds you; how someone took the only thing that you’re proud of from you in a jitter of a second, when you didn’t want to believe it but you knew you had to believe it; it reminds how someone can step on your self respect so harshly; it reminds that when you got an achievement, how  easy it was to forget that many people were with you during that effort and hardwork, the ego-ed you thinks that it was only you; it reminds that while you were crying and screaming how the person in front of you wanted to believe that everything was still okay. At times it seems that I’ve a heart that is nibbled at slowly.